More than 10,000 years ago, Egyptians used scented oils to soften their skin and mask body odours. Today, we call them moisturizers and deodorants.
6000 years from there, they smeared kohl around their eyes. Today, we call that eyeliner.
1000 years after that, the Chinese stained their nails with a combination of gum, beeswax, gelatin, gum Arabic and egg. Today, we call that nail polish.
Yet another 1500 years later, the Japanese whitened their faces with rice powder. Today, we call that loose powder.
Further down the timeline, the Greek smeared their lips with a combination of ochre clay and red iron, and the English went crazy with dyeing their hair red.
So what monumental contribution has our generation made to the makeup industry? Well, we revolutionised the Blemish Balm (BB cream), and came up with a ton of its variants. We perpetuated the nail art culture, and made lip tattoos go viral. But these items hardly seem impressive enough. After all, they are merely extensions and improvements of what already existed ages ago.
But ponder harder over these achievements, and you’ll find the true triumph of our generation.
We represent the turning point of the industry. Makeup products themselves might have already hit their peak, but the art of applying makeup most definitely has not. And that is precisely what our era excels at — finding an easier, more efficient way to do everything.
And many have already taken it upon themselves to pave this new route. Take for example, a novel invention by a team at the National University Of Singapore (NUS), Department of Pharmacy. They’ve created an adhesive patch with microneedles that can effectively deliver painkiller and collagen to an even deeper layer of the skin that current non-invasive tools cannot penetrate. Cool stuff.
But definitely not half as cool…and as crazy as what people on the Internet are coming up with.
Behold, I present to you 7 Mad Makeup hacks that are highly radical, totally unconventional, somewhat useful and possibly bordering on insane and deadly. For your amusement or your attempt (at your own risk), this is what our generation is going to go down in makeup history for.
1. Have your Mascara and eat it too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL0k6VhuaME
If you love Oreos, this is one way you can have them — without the calories.
2. Lipstick is the new Concealer.
Just in case you’re thinking of attempting this, here is a corrective colour chart, as a guide to which lipstick colour would be most appropriate for concealing.
Take note that you’ll want to colour correct your undereye area with the colour that is directly opposite on the wheel.
Logical stuff aside, I can’t decide which is weirder, the girl or the hack.
3. 10 Quick Tips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be3n1rjloyk
A rather sensible-sounding yet unconventional 10 hacks that actually seem doable…except hack number 9.
4. Eyes to die for, literally.
This would be really plausible, if makeup weren’t flammable.
5. How to go from a Marilyn Manson to a Marilyn Monroe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dLSy75M46o
It’s good to know that even Kim Kardashian doesn’t look human every morning.
By the way, do check out the spoof that Don Richmond so sportingly did. It’s hilarious.
6. Make your makeup last…forever.
Pop star Taylor Swift admitted to using this trick when she didn’t have an eyeliner. Just in case you aren’t aware, Sharpie is a brand of permanent markers manufactured in the United States.
7. The Boyfriend Hack.
Getting your partner to do your makeup doesn’t just take a load off your morning routine, it’s also an excellent way to see if he is marriage material.
Because — as our generation seems to suggest — a couple that makes-up together, stays together.
There’s really nothing better than watching a muscular, tattooed Texas man attend lovingly to the face of his girlfriend.