A mother’s love is like no other.
Even though the matriarch of the family has a peculiar way of showing her affection, you can’t deny the fact that no matter what she does at the end of the day, it’s always “for our own good”.
I daresay these eight witty sayings will have you roaring with laughter. Let’s dive in!
No.1 “Girl ah, why never use the hair dryer? Don’t sleep with wet hair, otherwise will get a headache.”
Picture it
You had a long day at work. You take a shower and can’t be bothered to blow-dry your hair. Just when you’re about to hit the sack, your mother looks at you and tsks at the sight of your wet locks. You brush her disapproval aside and go to bed. The next morning, you wake up with a thumping headache.
Mother, 1
You, 0
No.2 “Don’t shower right after you exercise, or else you will have white spots on your body! How to find a husband/wife liddat?”
Picture it
The seven-year-old you just came back home from playing Police and Thief with your buddies. You stink and can’t wait any longer. You hop into the shower. By the time you’re done, you discover several white spots on your body. Bonehead, you think to yourself. Now who’s going to marry you?
Mother, 2
You, 0
No.3 “Ah boy, why you still eat chicken when you have a cough?! Like that, your body will be even more heaty.”
Picture it
You’re running a temperature. Nausea washes over you and chicken soup seems like the only food your tummy can remotely tolerate. You tell your mum to cook it for you. Despite her numerous protests, you eat it. The next day, your temperature shoots up and you end up puking into the toilet bowl with the lid on.
Mother, 3
You, 0
No.4 “Don’t eat seafood when you have a wound, if not, you will scratch like crazy!”
Picture it
It’s been a week since you scraped your knees from falling while roller-blading at East Coast Park. You don’t think much of it, so you eat the famous seafood zi char you’ve been dying to try out. Big mistake. You spend the night tossing and scratching in bed. Even your butt has scars now.
Mother, 4
You, 0
No.5 “Drink cultured milk, because it’s good for your digestion!”
Picture it
You and your older brother are vying for the last VITAGEN bottle in the fridge. You play scissors paper stone to see who Lady Luck is rooting for. (It’s your brother.) After witnessing your pout, your mother tells you she’ll buy another packet right away.
“Why?” you ask her. She says, “Because this is the only healthy drink that you like. It has 50% less sugar than other cultured milk drinks and is good for your health. I’m your mother. It’s my job to pick the best for my children.”
Mother, 5
You, 0
No.6 “Don’t leave any grain of rice on your plate! Unless you want your future husband/wife to have a lot of pimples…”
Picture it
You can’t finish your food. You tell your mother about it. She replies with a tinge of threat, “Okay lor. If your soul mate got acne or pockmarks, don’t come back and complain to me.”
(Is this accurate? Negative. It is, however, always a good habit to finish your food. Come on, dude. Just because you can afford the meal doesn’t mean you should waste it!)
Mother, 6
You, 0
No.7 “Eat more carrots if you want to have healthy eyes!”
Picture it
Your eye degree has gone up and dinner lately has been all about carrots. You hate it, but you have to admit it, your eyesight is getting better. Now you don’t have to strain your eyes while ogling at your celebrity crush on the computer.
Mother, 7
You, 0
No.8 “Don’t walk underneath the bamboo poles. Or else, you’ll have bad luck!” *cues intense music
Picture it
You’re rushing to get home to binge-watch Descendants of the Sun. Despite the urgency, you take the long cut, instead of walking underneath the bamboo poles. You can almost hear your mother’s warning in your head: “Big wind. Heavy bamboo poles. Draw your own conclusion.”
Mother, 8
You, 0
This article was brought to you by VITAGEN Less Sugar. VITAGEN Less Sugar contains 50% less sugar than regular cultured milk drinks. For more on how to lead a healthier, less-sugar lifestyle, visit VITAGEN Singapore Facebook Page.