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Seriously Satire: The Next iPhone To Be The Largest Smartphone, Doubles As Hoverboard

After the release of Apple’s latest iPads and their new payment system, ApplePay, it seems that Apple has its eye on transportation. In true Apple fashion, a new leak has revealed to us that there may be more to Apple’s plans that meets the eye. The iPhone 7, due to be released whenever Apple feels like, will be able to double as a hoverboard.

Seems like Apple is taking their newest slogan of Bigger and Better very seriously, so much that the new iPhone 7 is said to be the size of a snowboard. The report also mentioned a second phone, what could be the iPhone 7 Plus, which could go up to the size of a small car.

The iPhone 7 comes with the latest hoverboard technology, in-built with GPS navigation system and auto cruise. In fact, there are no manual navigation controls at all, all in the name of convenience. In essence, the phones will be driving them.

"Oops, I think I dropped by phone."
“Oops, I think I dropped my phone.”

“If people want to do boring things like text or make phone calls,” said Apple Fanatic Isak Nuton, “They can go lie down. Smartphones are so much more than making stupid calls. That’s what smartwatches are for.”

In the race to create gadgets that are bigger and better, Samsung has released a statement saying, “Smartphones that are the size of a small car? Please. That is so last season. Currently we are in the process of designing a smartphone that is the size of a limousine. Now that’s innovation.”

When asked about how users are supposed to use a smartphone of that size, a Samsung representative replied, “We don’t know, users will have to get creative I guess. Size is all that matters, isn’t it?”

Seriously Satire is a biweekly series that is purely satirical and pokes fun at some ongoing issues in the world. It is not meant to be taken seriously. This week’s column is directed at the notions that ‘bigger is better’ and ‘size matters’ – which most men may disagree with anyway. 

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