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We’re familiar with life management simulators in games — there’s even one about being a goat, which I reckon is great and all but Megatramp is all about living life as a hobo. It’s like The Sims, but a lot sadder, darker, and harder. But isn’t real life as well?

The layout of the game is terrible. Too many words and buttons everywhere, lurid colours, bad fonts — but properly immerse yourself in the game and you’ll be tapping your way to the top. I started by giving my tramp a champion name: Bodie, after Bodhi the charismatic daredevil criminal of Point Break, a shitty but popular movie in the 90s (there’s a 2015 reboot). Clearly I put a lot of thought into this, so here’s how I got my hobo to be a success story.

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I’m A Deep Dumpster Diver

You start out with nothing. You’re living in the bushes, you can’t even read, and because you just started the game, your actions are quite limited. The only thing you can do is to rummage through trash to make some money and get some cans. You’ll also get some junk and XP so keep doing this to level up. It’s good to revisit these actions even when you’re making a lot of money later on — do it for the junk you can collect, and the cans you can convert to $$$.

Now I’m A Business Man

At about level 5, you will have to repeat a cycle of keeping yourself alive and well while earning resources from the available jobs. However, once you unlock the business jobs, you can earn resources overtime automatically. Any job that has a small clock next to it is a gradual job — after paying the initial amount to secure the job, you will earn a certain amount of money or junk over time. They’ll remind you with a Business is booming pop-up; use such jobs to get paid over time.

My room in a nice apartment collapsed and I had to move back into an attic.
My room in a nice apartment collapsed and I had to move back into an attic.

Keeping It Real

As you climb the career ladder, you’ll find yourself taking on some criminal jobs that bring in the quick cash to advance forward in life. But soon, what does it all amount to? More taxes, the police taking more money, and more businesses for you to fall into debt. It’s easy to get bogged down in the game, so switch it up sometimes.

Take risks and take up outrageous activities, spend on things you can afford for fun — it’s just a game so it’s okay to push the limits. At the end of it, laugh at how you have shitloads of money but your eating options are still ‘begging for food outside a fast-food joint’, pay $200 for a burrito or $50 for food that has gone bad. Life sucks.

Conversion Course

Don’t just keep your money/resources as it is. You can turn junk into cash, and cash into gold, and gold back into cash. It’s handy when you get into a jam with all the taxes you have to pay, the money the police are taking from you, monthly payments for the rented room, and the gangsters. Just note that the conversion rate differs for each transaction so be sure before converting. Also, it’s good to keep an amount in each currency.

Finally, my first apartment!
Finally, my first apartment!

A Self-Made Man

While you’re all up trying to get your funds in order and making more money, don’t forget to upgrade your house, transport, and education situation. As you rise through the levels, you’ll unlock chances to buy new and improved options in these areas, which in turn help you in your career opportunities.

For example, you need a bike to work as a paperboy. You should always be working towards these and be sure to double check what the requirement are for the upgrades. You will see that some upgrades need to be bought with cans, while some will require you to spend cash or gold.

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This is how I live now.

The full title of the game is Megatramp: The Success Story. While I’m not quite sure Bodie is a success story, I sent my hobo to university and he even went on to pursue higher studies. I’m so proud of him. Unfortunately his housing situation was a bit of a wreck: his house kept collapsing, he had to move back to the attic a few times, but hey, he’s in his very own apartment now, right? His house gets burgled often and he loses some money to taxes, corrupt police, and gangsters but anyway, what I am trying to say is that education is important but sometimes, just sometimes, life just f**ks us all.

Download: iOS App Store or Google Play

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