We all know the usual refrain: The economy isn’t good, so we have to tighten our belts.
Three years ago, we were infamously told, “Malaysians should hold two jobs to cope with rising costs!”
Today, even the fluctuating petrol prices are a cause for dismay, as it’s so important to save each ringgit possible.
There is a solution to this, unfortunately, it only exists in Leisureland.
In the movie Downsizing, scientists attempt to solve the issue of overpopulation by shrinking humans to 5 inches tall. These mini-humans live in Leisureland, a tiny-sized town designed to cater to their every need.
We all know Malaysians are great at adapting in new environments (look at Australia!). So here are some of the issues we would instantly solve if we were 5 inches tall.
1. You aren’t going to be bothered about the changing petrol prices anymore.
So first, you’re not going to be checking the petrol prices every Wednesday. In fact, every fluctuation is going to be mostly meaningless to you.
This is because if you’re 5 inches tall, you’re going to be driving a much smaller car. A much smaller car is going to equate to a smaller fuel tank.
Every time you fuel up in your new tiny car at your new tiny petrol stop in your new tiny town, you won’t feel the pain because the volume of what you’re getting is much smaller.
And that means you’ll have more money for other things, but you don’t even have to worry about that because…
2. You won’t have to worry about spending too much on meals.
Let’s put it this way. If you require 20 satay sticks to get filled up now, once you’re 5 inches, 2 will be more than enough.
Heck, you’ll be able to eat about 20 grains of rice to be filled up if you’re 5 inches tall.
A small piece of sashimi? That’s a huge salmon steak!
A cup of melted chocolate? Add a little more and you could even go swimming in it if you wanted.
3. You’re finally going to be able to afford a home!
With condominiums in the Klang Valley going at around RM300,000 to over RM1 million just for around 800 square feet, it’s probably no surprise that more and more young Malaysians are finding it harder to afford a home.
That gets even harder if you’re planning on having a family or just want a bit more space for yourself.
But this will all change if you’re only 5 inches tall. What some people would look down on as a “shoebox apartment” will be the size of a luxurious mansion for you.
You could even rent out or buy a corner of a “normal-sized” person’s garden and build a multileveled bungalow there if you wish, complete with a pool and garden.
4. You aren’t going to envy others and their fancy electronic goods.
A cinema screen will be way too big for you when you’re so small. In fact, you could do fancy screenings using an average flat-screen TV today.
And why would you need an expensive new TV or laptop for home use? A smartphone is going to be more than enough for most of your needs—and it even comes with a built-in touchscreen already. Not everyone gets that with their TVs.
5. Your house pets will have more than just one function!
We love our pets, but let’s face it: that’s all they are. For petting.
But when we’re 5 inches tall, many of our beloved household pets can serve an extra purpose: as noble steeds we can use to get around with.
For the price of their nourishment and care (which you were already paying for), you can now train them to carry you around!
Helps to save even more on petrol, we would say. Plus, super environmentally friendly.
6. Your gf isn’t going to nag you about the size of her ring.
For you men out there who have been stressing over getting even more karats for that diamond ring… fear no longer.
Your girlfriend (and now fiancée) will be delighted with the humongous ring you present to her and the massive bling that comes with it. And it won’t burn a hole in your wallet.
Downsizing is a science fiction comedy-drama film starring Matt Damon and Christoph Waltz. In it, a very stressed out couple decide to try out an irreversible shrinking procedure that promises to make their lives better.
Of course, things don’t always go as planned, but we can say for sure that their lives were changed forever by being 5 inches tall.
And if you’re not adulting very well, you can reimagine your life in Leisureland with the currency converter here. See how much you’ll be worth if you’re just 5 inches tall.
If this has peaked your interest, you can check out the trailer for Downsizing here, showing in cinemas nationwide starting from January 18, 2018.
This article was written in collaboration with United International Pictures.