Seriously Satire  |  Singapore
Published 2014-12-06 14:00:59

Cards Against Humanity fans would have already known about the outrage that occurred on Black Friday, when a newly released product sold off the shelves. The product, titled ‘Bullshit’, was so popular that it sold out within an hour. The real outrage occured when the buyers received the iconic black box and discovered, to their horror, that it contained literal cow faeces.

Image Credit: Junkee
Image Credit: Junkee

But this isn’t the first instance of customer mistreatment over Cyberweek, a popular shopping week that sprouted from CyberMonday’s insane online sales and discounts. All across Singapore and Malaysia, customers are complaining that they are, surprisingly, receiving exactly what they ordered.

“I used this app to order some chicken rice for my family, and they actually sent me a packet of chicken rice,” reported Singaporean accountant Soh Bow Liaow. “It’s so disrespectful! I was expecting a steak!”

Another shopper went to shop on popular clothing site Zalora, only to find that the products delivered looked exactly as the pictures described.


“Clothes bought online should never look the same,” said an irate Laf Dai Mee. “I ordered this blue maxi dress, and they mailed me a blue maxi dress! I should have received a red pair of shoes instead! This is the worst customer service I’ve ever had.”

And the bad online service doesn’t stop there. Customers who managed to buy a handbag at an amazing price of US$5 were outraged to find out that it wasn’t the Hermes bag that they expected. With both Singaporeans and Malaysians being great advocates of online shopping, what would happen to the e-commerce industry with this bad service going rampant?

“We need to find ways to make sure that stores cater to customers’ wants, especially on special occasions like Cyberweek,” announced government official Mr. Bueh Tar Han. “Customers should be entitled to what they actually want, not what they really bought. Because if merchants don’t know how to read customers’ minds, only chaos can follow.”

Seriously Satire is a biweekly series that is purely satirical and pokes fun at some ongoing issues in the world. It is not meant to be taken seriously. In our last installment, we made fun of  people who change their looks to look like an entirely different person. This week’s column is directed at online shoppers who are careless clickers, and often don’t do their research before buying. While Cards Against Humanity’s story about their ‘Bullshit’ product is true, it paints a true image of people who literally commit to buying bullshit, and then are upset about the consequences.

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