Is Sharing Really Caring? We Investigate By Asking 5 Young Couples.
In the early stages of any romantic relationship, it’s normal—and with good reason too—for either party to be wary and protective of their personal information.
This can range from sharing your mobile phone access code, to social media and entertainment accounts, and more.
But as the relationship progresses and hopefully, flourishes, when is the right time for them to share more? And how much sharing is considered as too much?
To find out, we asked a few young couples about how much they currently share with each other, and the different levels of commitment each stage entails.
Light And Easy: Sharing Entertainment
When it comes to online entertainment subscriptions (eg. Netflix, iflix, Spotify, Amazon Prime), it makes sense to share an account since it’s cost-effective.
It’s divide and conquer for Sarah and Alwin, who’ve been married for 3 years and dated for 8 years. They don’t know the passwords for each other’s accounts but share the usage of the platforms. Alwin subscribes and pays for Amazon Prime and Spotify, Sarah subscribes to Netflix.
“It’s our own way to contribute to the relationship—a relationship is about sharing and individually both playing our roles in both small and big things. So this may seem insignificant to some, but because we’re both contributing to something that makes us happy, and it’s also an activity we can enjoy together.”
Couple Tip 1: You don’t even need to be dating to share an entertainment account, but having one allows you to have a fun activity and topic of conversation. Just don’t use that shared password for any other accounts!
A New Level Of Trust: Social Media, Phone Access & Salary Info
After a minimum 1 year dating period, most of the couples agree that sharing each other’s phone access was a natural process. It didn’t feel forced because it all came down to convenience and safety.
“When my husband is driving and someone texts him, he would ask me for help to read/reply if it’s urgent,” Amira shared.
But sharing access to a phone actually requires a lot of trust because for many of us, phones are a digital gateway to many aspects of our personal lives. There’s photos, notes, to-dos, our calendars, phone calls, messages, social media, and even emails.
Sarra, however, doesn’t mind sharing her social media password with Philip as long as he knows his own boundaries, especially to not access it without her permission.
“I believe we need at least one person to know our social media passwords in case anything happens to us,” she added. “That person then can deactivate the account for us,” she added.
Couple Tip 2: Not everyone is comfortable with letting someone else into their digital lives, so this is not a step you should rush. Don’t exchange your security and privacy just for convenience, and remember that with phone access, there is a lot that someone can do if they have bad intentions.
Building A Future Together: Phone Plans, Financial Planning & Joint Bank Accounts
With connectivity becoming more affordable and accessible, even supplementary shared plans from Malaysian telcos are evolving to help people manage better—be it sharing data or even better savings on smartphones.
That being said, most of the couples currently don’t have a shared plan.
“Alwin did some research about it, whether it would save more cost but after that, it just never came up in conversation,” Sarah said. “My hypothesis is that we just rather manage our own phone and Internet usage, respectively.”
“But I wouldn’t say no to the possibility of having a shared plan in the future, I mean, whatever that helps us to save cost, right?”
When it comes to financial planning, Bing Han shared that he and Yee Cheng started about a year before their wedding.
“We both started saving very deliberately, mainly for the wedding, a house, and also for family planning,” he said.
All the married couples that we talked to (Sarah & Alwin, Bing Han & Yee Cheng, and Amira & Saif) now have joint bank accounts.
It is easier for them to manage their finances and monitor their family expenses. At the same time, they don’t have to worry about getting overdrafts.
Amira said that being sincere and building trust with Saif was initially challenging for her.
“When we first started to have joint bank accounts, I was also worried about whether one of us will be calculative about it later on.”
She wisely added, “But what’s the point of getting married if you don’t trust each other and be sincere in every aspect?”
Couple Tip 3: Sharing personal bank account passwords is not advisable, so a joint bank account is a much better option. Be very vigilant when it comes to your financial affairs, as a bad credit score for instance could have a large effect on your future. There are also advantages to sharing certain things like phone lines, if there are more affordable options.
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In the end, there is no right or wrong time to start sharing something, as long as both parties are comfortable with the level of intimacy.
Based on the responses, we’ve put together a little questionnaire for you and your partner to reflect if you’re ready for a deeper level of sharing in your relationship.
While answering these questions, if you and your partner agree that there is assured confidence and trust with each other, then your healthy relationship has earned the merit to advance to a more intimate level of sharing!
However, even if you’re not “there” yet, don’t immediately panic and worry about your relationship status. Sometimes you can just test the waters by starting with the little things—and the practical things too—and work your way up.
Sharing an entertainment account, for example, requires limited resources, isn’t too invasive, and saves you money.
Another example would be sharing a phone line, which is also less invasive than sharing social media passwords. Maxis’ new MaxisONE Share only costs RM48/month for each line (excluding the Principal Line subscription). That’s generally cheaper than getting separate principal lines.
While you’re at it, you can also get a phone as the MaxisONE Share is the only supplementary plan that allows you to get a smartphone with zero upfront payment!
With unlimited calls and SMS, additional 20GB of monthly data per line (excluding data from Principal Line), perhaps it is time we look into upgrading how much we share with each other.
- Get more information about Maxis’ latest shared plan, the MaxisONE Share, here.
MaxisONE Share is a deal that couples—married or unmarried—can explore to save money, get a new device for each line, and even get rewards like free roaming when you travel together.
This article is written in collaboration with Maxis.
6 Real Questions That Gen Zs Need To Ask Themselves (Inspired By These 3 Role Models)
With every generation that passes, studies have shown that there is always a shift in mindset.
And the next one to step forward is Generation Z.
If you’re from this era, you probably can probably differentiate how your mindset differs from Millennials due to certain events happening that shape your experiences as well as the difference in upbringing due to the advancement of resources.
But when you’re put in today’s life scenarios, how do you respond? Would you say you’d do the same as those who came from the generations before you?
A series of videos following a common theme were uploaded online recently, and they highlight three inspiring stories that show us what our potential could be if we gave ourselves that chance. Inspiration aside, it also brings up a series of questions the younger generation should be truthfully asking themselves.
1) “Every problem requires a solution. What am I gonna do about it?”
The world isn’t perfect, it’s riddled with a lot of issues the bigger the human population grows. But as the generations get younger, there is a stronger urge in humanity to open up their eyes and solve the vast problems we have out there.
In the “Serving Hope short”, Kim, the CEO of PichaEats (previously known as The Picha Project), shared that after volunteering at a refugee learning centre with her three co-founders, they saw the problems experienced by refugees in Malaysia.
From carrying large amounts of debt to not being able to send their children to school, refugees struggle a lot. So Kim and her co-founders decided to start a sustainable business to help out.
They started an online business where refugees could cook their traditional dishes and customers could go on PichaEats’ website to make orders.
As of early 2019, PichaEats is now working with 15 refugee families and have provided 90,000 meals to date.
2) “People keep telling me age is a factor. How can I prove to them that my age doesn’t limit me?”
The younger generation tends to think that it’s crucial to learn important skills at a young age before it’s too late.
But as Pak Su showed in his short, “A Helping Hand”, it’s never the case.
Coming from a teaching background, Pak Su had no experience whatsoever in 3D printing. But with the help of the internet, he was able to pick up electronic engineering skills that led him to now using 3D printing to help disabled children.
Being self-taught, it’s impressive that he has now built over 50 prosthetic arms for children throughout Malaysia. He is now also collaborating with ADTEC Taiping in an effort to create better 3D-printed prosthetic arms.
3) “Passion and career can’t become one. How can I marry the two and make it work for me?”
Traditional folks will always believe passion and career should be separated, especially if you consider gaming as a hobby.
But for Kathireswaran Sugumaran (or known by his gaming alias InFamous9), he’s managed to convince his parents that his love for games can put food on the table.
In his short “Dreaming Big”, Kathires first believed that he would never be able to make a living by playing FIFA. But after giving it a try and seeing his potential, he decided to pursue it and joined the esports team, FrostFire.
Despite his parents initially being against his desire to pursue a career in esports, Kathires persevered and is now handled by a pro management and getting a stable income along the way.
Through this, he’s been able to pay his tuition fees and give money to his parents
He is currently the reigning Malaysia Cyber Games FIFA champion and is aiming to bring back his first international title to Malaysia.
4) “Money is the only way to help others. What can I do to not be limited by my wallet?”
Of course money is always a beneficial resource, but it’s not the only thing that matters.
Pak Su himself mentioned that he doesn’t do his 3D-printed arms for money or expecting any returns. As a teacher, he’s always had a soft spot for children so just knowing that he’s able to help them a little in living their lives is enough for him.
He believes that resources can come from others who share the same vision and are able to spare their extra funds.
To the younger generation, you should know that where you may lack in funds, you can provide in skills or talent instead.
5) “Successful ideas are ones that follow trends. How can I stand out from the crowd?”
As the saying goes, trends come and go, but good sustainable ideas are here to stay. It doesn’t mean that just because your idea may not fit the definition of what a “sexy” concept is, it won’t be successful.
When PichaEats first decided to with refugees, it was a little hard to gain attention because the topic is not talked about largely.
Kim shared that instead of focusing on just refugees, she believed that food is the key because it can tell stories. The refugees are able to share their own tales and cultural background from the dishes they cook. This is what draws customers to their service.
6) “It’s hard to rely on others. Who should I trust and lean on for the right kind of advice?”
A study has shown that 71% of generation Z believe the phrase “If you want it done right, then do it yourself.”
Most of the younger generation prefer working solo, but at times, it can be difficult. When he lost a match during the Golden Goal, Kathires admitted to feeling really down.
Luckily for him, as with any other football team, he had a sports psychologist who helped remind him that he has a way of not losing himself when faced with hurdles.
He learned to rely a lot on his sports psychologist, and used the encouragement received to better himself. Sometimes we all just need a nudge from someone to put us back on track and make sure we do our best.
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The message behind these stories is clear: if there is a will, there is a way.
Life has now blessed us with so many resources that are easily accessible (thanks to the internet), so the younger generation can really learn a lot and push their limits further.
With technology at its advanced stage now, Maxis’ Fibrenation Stories campaign brings up a good point. The internet can really bring up thousands of possibilities, and we as the younger generation that will be stepping into the workforce and becoming the new leaders can start taking advantage of this more.
If you’d like to see the full stories behind these three chosen ones, we’ve attached the short videos from Maxis here:
- For more information on Maxis Fibrenation, you can click on their official website here.
This article was written in collaboration with Maxis.
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