Who doesn’t love a good simulator game? While we’re all waiting for the uncontested Master of Simulator Games, also known as The Sims 4, to be released, let’s take a look at some of the best, most hilarious (and ridiculously inappropriate) simulator games you can actually play.
Why these exist is still a mystery, but let’s get on with it!
1. Goat Simulator
You no longer have to fantasise about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true! WASD to create history.
GOAT Simulator?! Me, I’ve always wished I could be a goat. And boy oh boy does this game deliver. Developed by Coffee Stain Studios, the name says it all. Be a goat, lick things with a stretchy tongue, and cause as much damage as possible. This is a game that claims, nay, promises in-game physics that glitch all of the time. The developers have said that they only fix bugs that cause crashes – everything else is intentionally left in for the sole purpose of hilarity.
With tonnes of achievements to satisfy the achievement hunter in you, logic-defying in-game physics, sneaky puns, and Michael Bay-esque explosions, Goat Simulator is worth keeping in your library for when you’ve had a bad day and just want to mess stuff up.
Get it on Steam here.
2. Catlateral Damage
You’re a cat. You break stuff. Simple as that.
The very aptly-name Catlateral Damage has only two premises – you are a cat, and your only goal is to completely trash your owner’s house. As a first-person shooter, players run around different rooms in a house, knocking things over to score 100,000 points in 2 minutes. With every little kitty-paw whack, books, vases, pillows, and potted plants meet their doom. The game is currently in Alpha, and has received the Greenlight on Steam. Having passed its USD$40,000 goal on Kickstarter, Catlateral Damage promises to have added features and support (a Playstation 4 version seems to be in the works) pending its release on Steam.
Play the Alpha here.
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3. Surgeon Simulator 2013
…performing life-saving surgical maneuvers on passive patients.
In case you didn’t make it to (or through) med school, don’t fret – Surgeon Simulator 2013 is here to give you your fix of operating on (mostly willing) patients! In this game, you play Nigel Burke, a would-be surgeon who attempts heart transplants, brain transplants, kidney transplants – you get the picture – on his patients.
Armed with a host of clumsy tools, and a pair of arms and fingers that are diabolically hard to control, players must use both mouse and keyboard to – somehow – save a life. With a score of 71/100 from Metacritic, Surgeon Simulator 2013 is even compatible with the Oculus and Razer Hydra – not that it would be of much help. There is some quality gameplay in Surgeon Simulator 2013 – you just have to reach out and grab it with your tentacle-like arms.
Get it on Steam here.
4. The Stanley Parable
…meaning begins to arise, the paradoxes might start to make sense, perhaps you are powerful after all. The game is not here to fight you; it is inviting you to dance.
If you’re feeling a little more meta, give this FPS simulator a try. In it, you play as Stanley, and you don’t play as Stanley. You make choices, but you also don’t make choices. Confusing? Not so much, if you think about it. The Stanley Parable seeks to explore the relationship between the character, the player (you), the narrator, the game developers, and the game itself. It makes you think about the nature of choice in games in an onion-layer, Inception-like manner.
Described to be “by turns hilarious, disturbing, witty, and poignant”, The Stanley Parable is (excellently) narrated by Kevan Brighting, and demonstrates that sometimes a little meta-game can be better than a game by itself.
Get it on Steam here.
What simulator games are your favourite? Let us know in the comments below!
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