Facebook is bad for you, but then you already know that.
Apart from getting depressed everyday looking at photos of your friends snorkeling or skiing while you are getting squashed between sweaty people on the bus, suddenly Facebook has given rise to this new sense of annoyance.
Social media has given rise to preachy, pretentious and utterly annoying self righteous people who will fill your News Feed with quotations and status updates which want to make you march to their homes and throw a small but heavy object at them. I miss those days where you could walk away from someone with pretentious verbal diarrhea or times when you could literally punch them to stop it.
Here are 5 types of Facebook friends in your ‘friends list’ which make you day slightly worse than it already is.
#1 Vegans/ Vegetarians/Extreme Earth Lovers
Yes I admit we should not be cruel to animals and be nice to our planet by meticulously throwing rubbish into correctly marked bins but come on, I do not want to spend every single day listening to some annoying person on my Facebook talk about being vegan just because he is secretly lactose intolerant. My usually short fuse is challenged when someone gets between me and my last remaining pleasure in life – a Wendy’s double beef baconator burger.
First, it was the TED talk “The Power of Introverts” which got them stirred up from whichever cave they were hiding. Now with books and articles being published every day which promise that introverts will change our planets, introverts cannot keep quiet anymore. Ironically, the amount of din introverts are making will leave you pining for the days when they kept quiet.
What are foodies really? People who eat nice food and take pictures of them. Back in the day, I think they were simply called greedy. Those people with their super annoying collages of every course they had eaten. Who are they saving those collages for? 20 years later will they be like, “Honey, do you remember the item we had just after the prawn toasts on December 3rd, 2013? Because I can’t put a finger on it.”
#4 Pseudo Entrepreneurs
Steve Jobs would be ashamed of the throng of pseudo entrepreneurs who are out there on our News Feeds spouting nonsense like “Align your passion with your work” and other pretentious one liners. Everybody is an entrepreneur nowadays with their trite lines about passion, being in the moment, and not quitting. Gone are the days where only people who actually achieved stuff were allowed to say inspirational stuff and the world has been replaced by underachieving, untalented wannabes spouting garbage and annoying the hell out of you.
#5 Gym Rats
When did the guy who do dead-lifts suddenly become a philosopher. I admit that you must exercise to keep alive but I am not going to listen to a Protein Shake drinking, Creatine filled meathead talk about philosophy when he probably flunked primary school math. Suddenly every meathead in the gym with a phone and a QWERTY keyboard are spouting lines like “Tomorrow you can feel sore or sorry, your choice.”